Chapter 14
(January 2002)

"Mikey, get da Bus!"

Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 16:57:13 EST
From:"P. Bennemann" <PBennemann@AOL.COM>
Subject: Da bus (woof)

Dear Casey,
Send da bus! Quick! I got deeper into de mutt house dan ebber before.

Today isde 2nd annibersary ob my arribal in Bramstedt so I tought I was safe. Mum eben made de tuna treats you recommended to tempt me to come back in the woods. But de hunter also wanted to gib me a prezzy on my annibersary and he left me two dead birds and half a dead rabbit. Mum was not amuzed. She sez dey was off limits, out of bounds and not allowed. She sez I didn't come when called. Shegrabbed me by de butt and marched me home on de leash.

She sez no more woods.Send de bus.

Lub und rueful (until tomorrow) kisses,


Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 22:42:06 -0500
From: Ardith Eamer <reamer@VIDEOTRON.CA>
Subject: De Bus![woofy talk]

Ah Grainne: Youse has to stay out of trubble or your "pooter' rights will be rescinded and we won't be able to talk any more. Whats do you want wit dem dead tings anyway when you can hab tuna treats at home. Howebber, I can arrange wit Mikey to send de bus if youse really needs it. Us Wheaties have to stick togedder!

          00...dis is me paw print!


Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 19:56:22 -0800
From: Mikey <mikeydawheaten@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: De Bus![woofy talk]

Grainne, iffin youse are having a problem dere, Tommy is da closest to yer. Youse can also email Liam. I received a picture of Liam and it wuz when he was sending me an email. Dat matey down under knows how to hit dem keys and throws himself right into it. Email Audie fer his famous picture.

Now Casey, remember we traded in da bus fer a motor home so we have to get it out of storage and up and running.

Grainne, don't touch dat dead stuff - dey could have diseases and youse don't want dat. Iffin youse want to bring yer ma sumting, bring her socks or panties and join da UEA Club. I prefer socks all rolled up into a ball. Miz Weazie found a few pair of her socks in me crate mid one nightgown - now how did dey get in dere? Hmmm. It must have been Coco.

Mikey Patrick Gross
Fort Lickerdale, FL


Thema:    Re: Da bus (woof)
Datum:     22.01.2002 01:06:00 (MEZ) Mitteleuropische Zeit
Von:         Carolbrown2
An:           PBennemann

Now, Miss Grainne,
You'se 'posed to get doze prezzies when Ma isn't lookin'! Someone eben told me you're 'posed to roll around on 'em, too, so's you can keep da smell on ya and share deir wunnerful scent wif eberyboddy, and dey will admire you for such success. I hab'n't been 'llowed to do dat either. Me Ma sure believes in dat leash....

Carol (eewwww!) and Vesper (Happy Anniversary!)


Thema:    Re: Da bus (woof)
Datum:    22.01.2002 07:41:21 (MEZ) Mitteleuropische Zeit
From: (aplowes)

Dear Grainne,

Don't worry, your mummy and daddy love you too much to ever let you go away. Audie gets cross with us too, but she always 'softens' after a while and we get hugs and kisses again!

Just use those lovely eyes of yours, and look at them all dreamy and sad like, and you'll soon have them eating out of your paw again!

Licks and hugs,
Your Liam.


Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 08:32:55 -0500
From: Ardith Eamer <reamer@VIDEOTRON.CA>
Subject: Da Bus!

MIKEY: You traded de bus for a motor home???? Have we gone soft in Wheatiedom?? Dere is not enough room in a motor home for all de Wheaties in trubble. Get de bus back Mikey...Quick!

Howebber, nows dat I tink about it..we could hab our own baffroom...a table and a counter for surfing would be nice. We could hire a cook to have our constant supply of treats...Some of dem have a queen sized bed. Hmmm, maybe we could keep dat motor home. I drives, do you??
We're comin' Grainne. Hold on dere girl, we just have ot figger out how to get dese water wings attached.
          00...dis is me paw print!


Thema:    Re: Da bus (woof)
Datum:               22.01.2002 08:53:58 (MEZ) Mitteleuropische Zeit

From: (Edith Bovers)
To: PBennemann@AOL.COM

Grinne, Grinne, girl dem dead animels are not fur sofisticated doggies like us! Yours mom isnt mad at youse anymor, she lubs youse way to mutch for dat. And if she iz, run to us all de way to Dsseldorf and den to de right; Ise will wait fur youse at de border and take youse home wid me!



Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 12:32:14 EST
From: Jacky Woody <JackyatJaM@AOL.COM>
Subject: Re: Da bus (woof)

Happy annibersary. Like eberybody else we's agrees dat dead animals aren뭪 good for youse. Also da moms don't like to hab 'em in der house. Benny found an old dead rabbit under da tree once and was lucky dat dad was walking him and not mom.

We may need da bus or motorhome here in Omaha too. Yesterday da mom and dad were taking us for our evening walk, Woody who is bigger da me was peeing on a tree but he missed da tree and I walked right into his stream of pee. Mom had to clean my face up. I don't think dey were mad dough as they were laughing real hard and said dat we'd be $10,000 richer had they had the video camera with dem. Something about being tv stars on a video show.

Ders neber a dull moment with us in da house.
Woody and Benny in Omaha


Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 16:20:51 EST
From: Sue Benso <Soobee56@AOL.COM>
Subject: She wants to Scotchguard me (woof)

Help! Help! Send da bus!

Me mom came home from work, let me out of me crate and I went outside to do me bizness. Of course I had to roll around in the dried grass and some leaves since I had been in dat crate for quite some time.

I came in da back door and sat down on da mat. Dis is a good ting to learn so da humans can check you ober for leaves and snowballs before you make a big mess in da house. Well, I guess I got too many leaves and dried grass on me dis time. Me mom said I was covered from black nose to tail end. She is not pleased because she has to give me a thorough brushing now.

Den I heard her muttering something about Scotchguard for Leaf-Coated Wheaten Terriers!!! I don't need no one guarding me, especially someone who is Scotch. What do folks from Scotland know about guarding that us wheatens don't already know?

So....just send da bus to get me after it picks up da Murph.
xo da Pipes


 Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 19:39:04 EST
From: Louise Gross <CocoInFtL@AOL.COM>
Subject: Re: She wants to Scotchguard me (woof)

da Pipes, da Pipes, youse sure got into a mess dere. Stay way from dem Guards of Scotch. Whoa, mid everyone needing da bus lately, we better figger out how to attach dose water wings and get our band tour rolling. Yes Tommy, da Mikey probably knows how to drive - I've watched Ma plenty of times and have a license in Florida. My Minny Soda one expired.



Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002 08:23:03 EST
From: "P. Bennemann" <PBennemann@AOL.COM>
Subject: Re: da bus (woof)

Dear Piper,
I can see dat you needs da bus. Howebber, I'se in worser trouble. I tried to distract dem from de act mid dem ded bodies in my woods by leaving a pile for Daddy to find when he got home from work. Now I needs da bus faster! Get dem water wings on and pick me up at Tommy's house in Helmond in de Nedderlands. Quick!
Lub, Grainne (da whirls be outta me at de Moment)

P.S. None ob dat Scotch stuff, Pipes.
We's Irish!


Date:    Wed, 23 Jan 2002 09:03:46 -0500
From:    Ardith Eamer <reamer@VIDEOTRON.CA>
Subject: Pipes & De Bus!

Now Pipes: Youse has to ediacate your Mom. It is normal for Wheaties to catch tings in dere coat. After all, she left you in dat crate and now she has to pay de price for you habbing some fun. I don't know why dose hoomans tink dat we hab to look like we were just baffed and groomed ebery minute of ebery day. Gee, didn't dey eber get dirty when dey was younger??

As for dat Scotch guard, you tell your Mom dat de company just stopped making it because one of de chemicals in it is a persistent bioaccumalative toxin.[in udder words it stays in de body for a long time] and she can't use it on dere! Now dat I graduated from obedience school, I has gone on to higher ed. I like dem science subjects!

Howebber, if you needs de bus[aka motor home],youse gots it. Just tell us where you will be and we'se will come to pick you up. Bring your bathing suit, tink we will head for someplace warm!

          00...dis is me paw print!
PS: Get de motor home service Mikey, looks like seberal of our Wheatie friends need it!


Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2002 00:17:07 +1000
From: aplowes <aplowes@IPRIMUS.COM.AU>
Subject: Re: Pipes & De Bus! [Woof]

Some place warm? Did I hear you say SOME PLACE WARM????? Well, we are all waiting for you in SUNNY QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA! Here, you'll get ALL the warmth you could ever dream of!! [and then some!!]

Liam the Lad from 'Down Under'


Thema:    Re: trubble (humor?)
Datum:               25.01.2002 02:10:06 (MEZ) Mitteleuropische Zeit
From: (Mikey)

Dear Grainne,

Iffin youse keep dis up, we are gonna have to put you in da WPP - Wheaten Protection Program. Da Tommy wood be yer contact point. Youse be a bootiful girl ... don't get into dose dead tings dat smell real bad. Let yer huMOM find dem herself.

Mikey Patrick Gross
Fort Lickerdale, FL

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